I'm not drinking tonight. I didn't drink last night either so that's two nights in a row. Go me.
Though I have been smoking copious amounts of weed, but it's definately better. I picked up my friend Joe yesterday and have been smoking with him all weekend. Then I got off work today, lit up my pipe with his chronic, then drove to his dealers house. His dealer is actually Tommy who is actually a friend who started dealing, but it's cooler that way. Easier then trying to go through someone else's friend's hook-up to get schwag. Tommy only deals in chronic, so if I buy from him it's $50 an eighth. Anyway, Tommy smokes us out with some blackberry chronic that actually tasted like blakcberries. I wonder how they managed that? Then I went back to Joe's house and smoked a bunch more weed, played Madden '05 for a bit and watched some tv. Then smoked more weed and drove home in a slow-motion daze.
It feels like a pathetically wasted day to me. I mean this is the kidn of day I do not want to start having again. It seems natural to me that if I type that *you*, whoever you are, reading this, will think I'm a fucking druggie loser. Apparently, I have been recently told, my lifestyle is actually the envy of a certian geekier clique in college. And (I guess I'm in college), the folks like me who could go to a kegger party and pass out in someone's backyard somehow have a leg up on the other folks. I mean, sorry, this whole idea just amuses me.
I guess it's always been quite easy for me to get drugs or alcohol if I wanted them, and for a long time I was pretty much a straight edge vegetarian and wouldn't touch drugs. Till my 21st birthday anyway, and then I wouldn't touch weed until last year, but I've always been around drugs. I mean I was listening to this song in my car with two of my brother's friends (guys who have their own weed and I'd figure'd know drugs). Anyway I'm telling them about this band we are listening to, because I'm chatty. The song says, at one point,
give me those hot lines and I say, "hell I'm glad my friend Lance (he is a meth addict, if you aren't taking notes :P) isn't doing hot lines." They give me this blank stare. So I start to explain about the fucking hardcore meth addicts doing hot lines and they barley know what I'm talking about, just leaves me thinking, why the fuck do I know this? I fucking hate tweakers.
Hell I could have stolen meth, coke, or weed from my dad all the time growing up. Instead I stole cigarettes and woke up early, to walk to school in the dark, and smoke on the walk like a real thirteen year-old badass. I found weed in the seat of the van twice. My dad thought it was a good place to hide meth even though I (his twelve or thirteen year old son) found it
twice. Oh well, I just gave it to him. What else was there to do, I mean he's getting his money this way and such. I dunno.
Reminds me of the Dave Chapelle show, "kids, drugs are all around you." They were. Oh well. What do you do? I mean I didn't choose to be tied to drugs, I wish I wasn't, but I am and weed is fantastic. The only thing that stood between me and weed was my anti-drug father-hatred.... Because he dealt meth, is the short-of-the-long of it. Drugs utterly destroyed my life, so I hate them, but I love weed. And, unfortunately, yes, I'm drunk as fuck. Bad drunk, but I'll remember this. Today, at least one day, I'm... ... brained. .. I dunno. I'm somthing enough to realize I need to stop drinking. I mean, really, I'm not drinking more. Maybe you'll undertand. c0za, you read this? You get it? Yahoo me god-damnit...
Oh shit, now not drnking has become hard. But it's become a challenge, somehow, so I won't drink. I'll thannk myslef in the morning. My coffee will have creamer in it. Hooray!
I worry should PP, that's her name from now on, and I'm writing about her, because I don't know hwat the hell is goign on there, but you'll get updated, those who know and those who care enough oto check my links secion. Anyway, I think we are going somewhere fairly good. God damnint, by the second I get drunker. Wny did I get this drunk? I can't type. I can'ts ee. Fuck. WT? F?? I was trying not to get drunk. tim e t o go to sleep.
FUCUK!@!!!!!!!!!!!
